Major Donor Conversations: Promise Contrary to Pitch

Today I want to talk about the heart of successful major gift fundraising.

It’s about reframing what you may think of as a “pitch” into what your donor would like to consider a “promise.”

The pitch is one way.

A monologue you deliver about everything you know about your organization. Usually it’s about how great it is, how pressing the need is, how you know the donor cares about your mission… and, then, you drop a bomb into your donor’s lap with a big-ass ask they didn’t quite anticipate. This often leaves them feeling they didn’t get a chance to get a word in edgewise and/or they’ll be a ‘bad’ person if they don’t respond as you suggest.

The promise is two-way.

The donor promises to make a gift to accomplish something near and dear to their heart; you promise to put that gift to work effectively. You fulfill on that promise through prompt acknowledgement and by reporting back to the donor on specifically what their philanthropy accomplished.

The difference between these approaches is the difference between success and failure, especially over time.

For donors to give at their most passionate level, and to stick with you over time, they have to:

• see and feel the promise;
• believe and trust in you, and
• feel good about their giving.

Promises feel good; coercion and guilt don’t.

If people gave because they felt coerced or guilted by your perceived sales pitch, they aren’t likely to want to do this again. Promises, and fulfillment of promises, build relationships. When you make giving transactional, you fail to build a relationship. Ultimately, these donors will evaporate.

Which brings us to the heart of effective, two-way, donor-centered major gift fundraising.

THE CONVERSATION

You know what a conversation is, right? Merriam-Webster defines it as an “oral exchange of sentiments, observations, opinions, or ideas.” It’s an informal exchange. Not a formal recitation or presentation. The informality is what breeds success. Because it creates a level of comfort that opens people up to listening and considering.

Have you ever been asked for a gift? How did you feel? Often I hear stories from board members that being asked gives them a knot in their stomach. They’re afraid for the ‘ask’ to drop. That’s awful! And it means the fundraiser used a pitch, not a promise. The ask conversation should be warm, friendly and fun. Yes, fun!

Begin with Your SMIT x 3

Your SMIT is your ‘single most important thing.’ In a written appeal, this would be the main reason you’re writing. It would be your most desired call to action. You want to be crystal clear about this, and get to the point.

For a major donor conversation, I like to think of the SMIT a bit differently and more expansively.  And since all good things come in threes, ask yourself what three single most important questions should be included in your conversation template to connect with the donor.  Carefully consider what you want to learn. I usually want to come away from a major donor conversation knowing:

1. A bit more about the donor than I knew before; something upon which I can continue to build the relationship.
2. More about the donor’s philanthropic interests and priorities as they relate to what my organization does; this way I can talk with them about the issues nearest to their heart.
3. Whether the donor is interested in making a passionate investment in one or more of the areas we’ve covered in our discussion; this way I can prepare a proposal and we can talk about the nitty gritty next time.

INTERESTING NOTE: When you guide people towards where you want them to focus, that’s likely what will happen. An interesting study of behavior at breakfast buffets revealed the first item in the buffet was taken by 75% of the diners (even when the order of the items was reversed) and two-thirds of all the food taken came from the first three items, regardless of the buffet’s size. So… restaurant marketers who want to optimize profits put the things with the best margins at the front of the line. This applies to more than food.

Open-ended questions keep the conversation open and flowing. The donor can’t respond with a curt “yes/no,” which will absolutely close the conversation.

Once you have clarity on your visit’s purpose, you can prepare yourself by writing down three open-ended questions that will move you towards the ultimate goal of passionate philanthropy facilitation. 

THINK OPEN-ENDED

For openers, channel the quintessential reporter’s questions.  How and What are the best, but you can also try out Who, When, Where or Why.

You can also follow up with what I think of as quintessential therapist questions:

• Can you tell me a little more about that?
• Can you elaborate?
• How does that make you feel?
• Why do you think that’s happening?

Use your own voice and relate in your own manner.

Be YOU, just as you would in any other conversation.

OPEN THE CONVERSATION

There’s a reason we have the term ‘small talk.’ Transitions are important in conversations. They put people at ease. It’s jolting if you try to go from 0 to 60 in two seconds. Ease into things by showing your interest in your donor.

Check in.

• How are you and your family doing?
• How are you handling this crisis?
• What’s your favorite thing to do to take care of yourself?
• What gets you out of bed in the morning these days?
• What keeps you up at night?
• Why do you feel that way? Can you tell me more?

If you think of donors as friends with whom you’re hoping to connect, and maybe do something with later, getting started will come easier.

CONNECT THE CONVERSATION TO YOUR CAUSE

Try to get inside the donor’s head by thinking about what they’re likely to want to know.  RIGHT NOW. For example, during the pandemic areas of greatest concern and interest looked something like this across different social benefit sector areas:

• Arts organization: Donors were concerned about when you’re opening up again to the public. Or how you were managing to pay expenses with no ticket sales.
• Food pantry: Donors wondered how much the need had increased, and what you were doing to address this. Or even how you were distributing food in a socially distanced manner.
• School: Donors wondered if if you were open, how you were pivoting to digital learning, and how you were planning to take care of both faculty and students.
• Animal welfare: Donors wondered what you were doing to meet the special needs of this population, and maybe also assure humans stay healthier by connecting with these animals.
• Environmental organization: Donors wondered what you were doing to fight rollbacks and address quality of life issues exacerbated by the times we were in.
• Front lines: Donors concerned about addressing issues of health, safety, social justice, equity or anything else in the news, want to know specifics of what you’re doing and how things are going in that regard.

Explore how you might make a values match between what they said and what your organization is up to these days.  Of course, ultimately you’re looking for money. They’re looking for meaning, purpose and joy.

Maybe there’s a way you can work together to meet both of your needs.

ASK FOR ADVICE

Have you heard the old fundraising adage: “If you want advice, ask for a gift. If you want a gift, ask for advice?” Everyone likes to be asked for advice. This engages your donor and makes them feel you care about their opinion, not just their wallet. You can ask their advice on some of the topics you think they’re likely wanting answers on.

• What advice might you have for other ways to address this issue, based on what you know we d now?
• Why do you think that might be the most/least effective solution?
• How have your philanthropic interests changed over recent years, and what advice do you have for how we might continue to reach others who feel similarly?
• What have you been wondering in terms of what we’ve been up to in the face of this crisis, and where would you advise us to focus resources now?
• How might we reach out to other generations on this issue?
• Who do you know who might be interested in this project?

Ask them for their thoughts on the solutions you’ve landed on by asking which of several options they’d like to learn more about. You don’t have to necessarily follow the advice. Offer to pass the advice along. Or offer to think about it and get back to them.  Thank them for caring so much. Then… move on to the next part of the conversation.

You simply need to listen and confirm to the donor you heard them.

USE THE CONVERSATION TO INSPIRE PHILANTHROPY

Passion inspires; not need, guilt or coercion. Remember, your job as a philanthropy facilitator is to master what my mentor and founder of The Fundraising School, Hank Rosso, called: “the gentle art of teaching the joy of giving.” Pretend, again, you’re just trying to inspire a friend to go to dinner with you. Which of these approaches would make you more likely to say yes?

1. I really need to get out of the house and need to find someone I can go with. Can I twist your arm? Please?
2. I’m excited to tell you about an amazing restaurant I went to last week. The entire atmosphere was lovely, and the food was just delicious. I know you would love it.

It’s obvious when you look at the two approaches side by side. One is grounded in a passion you want to share. The other stems from a need you must fill. The first  makes you feel like a beggar. The second comes across as a generous impulse. Alas, somehow we lose sight of the obvious when we get nervous about asking for a major gift. There’s a way around this when you begin by connecting to your own passion.

Begin with something genuine about a value, cause, program or project you love and want to share.

CHANNEL YOUR PASSION; CONNECT IT TO THE DONOR’S PASSION

Don’t think so much in terms of having to persuade. Think in terms of having to inspire. Whatever you do, don’t think “I’m going to hit him up” or “I’m going to twist her arm.” If you think you have to coerce or manipulate, you’re going in the wrong direction. These motivations won’t make your donor feel good. Quite the opposite in fact.

If you’re nervous, it’s okay to say: “I have to confess I’m anxious about asking for a gift.” Remember, donors are people before they’re donors. They may be nervous too!

I often find solicitors are fearful they’ll be asked a question for which they don’t have an answer. So they end the conversation without offering an investment opportunity. That’s not fair to a donor who agreed to talk to you, and expected to be asked. Unless you made it clear upfront this would be a pure “getting to know you” meeting, fulfill on your promise to discuss their philanthropic interests. Find out how they’d like to help! If you don’t ask, they may wonder “what was that all about; why did they waste my time?”

If your donor asks you a question, you’ll probably have the answer. If not, you can tell them you’ll be happy to find out.

CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION

Persistence is next to passion in terms of what makes a successful fundraiser.

Remember, they were willing to meet with you in the first place. So their hesitation to give right now, or for the purpose you suggested, or at the amount you were considering, may not mean “no, never,” but “no, not right now.”

If you get a hesitation, simply ask more open-ended questions to overcome the donor’s resistance.

I like to use the following four questions:

1. Is it the organization?
2. Is it the project?
3. Is it the amount?
4. Is it the timing?

Sometimes you’ll uncover the fact they (1) love your organization; (2) even like the project; (3) are even okay with the amount, but (4) they’re overcommitted to other organizations this year.  Or maybe they’d rather talk about another project. Or a different amount. You can work with all these answers.

When you close, be sure to lay out the plan of action for next steps, as you’ve discussed.

When you know where you’re going, you’re likely to get there.

ACT ON YOUR PROMISE TO PARTNER WITH DONORS

When you ‘pitch,’ you treat donors almost as objects. They’re ‘marks.’ Or ‘whales’ to be reeled in. It’s not about the outcome they care about as much as the outcome you care about. This doesn’t feel so good.

When you make a ‘promise,’ you treat donors as you would want to be treated. You think about what they need. You promise to meet that need. And then you follow through.

CLOSING TIP: Here’s some advice from capital campaign and major gift fundraising sage, Andrea Kihlstedt. She suggests you might even call up donors, tell them you’ve made a commitment to ask three donors for a gift every month, and would they let you practice on them? I love this idea! It’s a great tactic with donors who’ve already made their annual commitment for the current year. The donor doesn’t have to be nervous, because this isn’t ‘real.’ You’re asking them for advice on your approach, and donors love this. And no outcome is a bad one. They’ll either (1) tell you your approach was perfect, and you should use it on them next time (which you should!), or (2) they’ll give you useful suggestions, which you should also use next time you ask them, or (3) they’ll give an additional gift on the spot because they enjoyed this conversation so much!

Want More Winning Major Gifts Strategies?

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I promise you will LOVE this course. The next cohort begins February 10th and runs through May 9th. If you want to be ready to hit the ground running ASAP, register now and use my exclusive Clairification Code CA5 to save $100. If you want to wait until later this year you can save more by signing up within 30 days of the course launching. There are also more generous discounts for groups of 3 or more. Feel free to email me at claire@clairification.com with any questions or concerns [Or just hit “reply” to this post].

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash