I’ve recently been writing a lot about the HUGE difference between transactional and transformational “fundraising” — especially from the donor’s perspective.
One lands a one-time gift; the other, potentially, a life-long relationship.
This is why I encourage you to reframe your work as philanthropy facilitation.
When you aren’t just talking at people, but are talking with them, you make it easier for them to give.
For maximum impact — both for you and for the donor — donor conversations should be co-creative.
Recently, I wrote about how at the heart of this approach are two qualities every fundraiser needs. This resonated with many, so I want to reiterate here.
1. CURIOSITY
When you’re genuinely curious about another person you ask questions to draw them out.
And questions to help them get to the place they want to go; not where you think they should go.
Because what’s right for you is not always right for someone else. They’ll tell you what’s right – with you acting as their guide – but only if you’re interested enough to ask.
It happens some questions are better than others if you want to get to the core of the matter at hand. We’ll get to those in a moment.
2. LISTENING
There’s a better way to have dynamic, effective conversations than jumping in prematurely with your own opinion.
I’ve always known this, but it turns out there’s more to it than adopting the old adage: “You have two ears and one mouth; use them in that proportion.”
Because it’s how you approach the listening that matters.
The most powerful listening comes from a loving stance and pays attention to feelings.
This has been termed “generous listening” by at least one other fundraising colleague, Amy Varga, who counsels listening for what the donor cares about and why your mission speaks to them. More broadly, simply notice in the moment what is going on for the other person; speak to that.
Value comes from the value you seek.
With major donor prospects you won’t get far unless you know two things. Plan to ask questions to suss those things out:
(1) What do they most value? This tells you:
- What people believe makes life worth living,
- Where they see problems, and
- Where they see promise, hope and the possibility for change.
When you know what people value, you can help them express those values more fully through their philanthropy.
Otherwise, you’re mostly guessing
(2) What motivates them to give philanthropically? This ties back to values and:
- What they’re grateful for,
- Who they cherish and honor, and
- What matters to them and inspires them towards “love of humanity.”
There’s no one “right” motivation; it simply pays to know which one moves your donor so you can connect on the level with which they’re apt to identify most.
Example “NO”: “I know fighting for voting rights is at the top of everyone’s priority list right now, even more than supporting diversity, equity and inclusion – which I know you care about. But we won’t have DEI without fair voting. So that’s why I’m asking you to give $1,000 today towards the voting rights initiative. And everyone who gives this week will have their gift matched.”
NOTE: What you care about may not be what the donor most cares about. Also, the motivation to have their gift doubled may not have as strong a values tug for them as you may think.
Example “YES”: “Were you aware of our current voting rights initiative? I’m wondering how this might speak to you? I’d love to chat with about your feelings about these plans and also what programs most interest you right now. Maybe you might tell me what legacy you’d most like to leave the world right now?”
NOTE: By opening the conversation up to what the donor values you also get a window into what motivates their philanthropy. It may lead you in a different direction that unlocks even greater passion in the donor. Win/win.
Value comes from the quality of your questions, listening and follow-up.
Your job, as a philanthropy facilitator, is to offer donors something fulfilling in which they can believe.
Towards this end, try framing your work with donors as a process of meeting their very human unmet need to matter and belong. For, clearly, this is at the heart of some of the most pressing problems afflicting society today — loneliness, extremism, and polarization. All these things are values-related – and tied to how we value ourselves.
People want to like what they see when they look in the mirror.
Much of our perception of our own value is tied to how others see us. But, as social ties fray and technology drives people more into isolation, people will seek alternative paths to feeling valued. One such path is through philanthropy – voluntary action for the public good. This can be a beautiful win/win/win – for the donor, your organization, and society writ large.
This gives nonprofits, and fundraisers, an enormously important role in shaping a world where goodness and light prevail.