The Last Luxury: Why Real Human Connection Still Matters in Fundraising

In a world speeding toward automation, authentic human relationships are becoming a rare — and priceless — asset.

Imagine you’re on a third date with someone you really like. You’ve taken them to your favorite restaurant — the one you take your mom to when she’s in town. But instead of Louis, the sommelier who always gets the wine pairing right, there’s a sleek black AI device on the table.

It’s supposed to be perfect. The specs say it will choose the optimal bottle, every time. But something’s missing. The charm. The ritual. The connection. The experience you hoped to share.

That story, told by Hugh MacLeod of Gaping Void, has been echoing in my head ever since I read it. Because if you work in fundraising — particularly in a small or mid-sized nonprofit — you’re probably feeling this tension too. It’s the contrast between speed/efficiency (what tech offers) and real human connection (what donors actually crave). Yes, the tools today are smarter. The systems are faster. But the connections? Often thinner.

And here’s the thing you can’t afford to forget: donors don’t give because of flawless logic. They give because of how you make them feel.

Reflection Prompt:
Ask yourself: “In our current donor communications, would a supporter feel like they’re being talked with — or talked at?” The difference is subtle, but powerful. The former invites connection. Relationship. Bonding. The latter maintains distance. One is hands-on; the other, hands-off.

It may be hard for you to see this yourself, as you’re too close to things. Ask a friend or family member how the communication makes them feel. Interested to hear more? Bored? Annoyed? Happy? Sad? Outraged? Excited? Take some time to learn whether you’re conveying the authentically human and personal message you hope to send.

Being Human Is Your Edge — Not Your Flaw

In the rush to optimize everything — email timing, subject line A/B tests, CRMs that track opens and clicks — you risk losing the very thing that makes philanthropy work: genuine human connection.

People don’t want to be treated like data points among the homogenous masses.

They want to be seen. Heard. And, above all, known.

Think about the last time someone gave your organization more than just a routine donation — not a quick online gift or a reply to a mailer, but something truly thoughtful or downright passionate. A gift that felt personal. Maybe it was a major contribution. Maybe it was a surprise legacy commitment. Maybe it was simply above average for that donor. Behind that kind of generosity is almost always a feeling. Maybe trust. Maybe inspiration. Maybe a shared sense of outrage or hope. That kind of gift rarely comes from a segmented email or an optimized landing page. It comes from something deeper — from your presence, your listening, your authenticity.

This is why being “authentically human” isn’t just a nice-to-have skill. It’s the core of your work. It’s the very thing that builds the trust and emotional resonance fundraising depends on.

ACTION STEPS TO SHOW UP AUTHENTICALLY:

• Don’t hide your own passion. If something about your mission moves you, say so. That emotional truth is magnetic.

• Be open about challenges. Fundraising isn’t all wins. Letting donors in on real struggles helps them feel like insiders, not outsiders.

• Use plain, human language. Write how you speak. Avoid jargon, even if you’re writing for major donors.

• Center the “why,” not just the “how.” Lead with purpose, not process. People connect with meaning more than mechanics.

Donors Can Tell the Difference

Let’s be honest: your donors may not think in terms like “automated workflow” or “segmented messaging,” but they absolutely notice when something feels rushed or impersonal. They can tell when a thank-you email is a form letter. They can feel the difference between a scripted phone call and a genuine conversation. And most of all, they remember when something touches them — when it feels like you took a little extra time to show that you see them, know them, and care.

Yes, many of us use tools to help manage our time and workload — AI, CRMs, scheduling apps. But it’s not just about what we use. It’s how we use it.

So how do you bring more humanity back into the process? Try these action steps:

1. Make space for your voice.

If AI drafts your newsletter or appeal, don’t just skim and send. Take the time to add your tone, your humor, your convictions, your personal anecdotes. Let people hear you.

2. Add a human layer to reminders.

If your CRM tells you it’s someone’s giving anniversary or birthday, don’t just check the box. Send a personal note that reflects who they are and what they’ve meant to your organization.

3. Customize small touches.

Start or end your emails with a personal line — a memory you share, a comment about their impact, or even a simple “I was just thinking about you.”

4. Pick up the phone.

Not for an ask, just to say thank you or check in. One unscripted call can do more to deepen a relationship than ten beautifully formatted emails.

5. Slow down and be present.

When you’re talking to a donor, give them your full attention. Real connection can’t be rushed — and it shows when you’re truly there. Listening with two ears and one mouth.

NOTE: These small, intentional moments of care are what turn routine communication into meaningful relationship-building. They’re what make someone feel like more than a data point in your database. And that feeling? That’s what donors remember.

Fundraising Isn’t Performance. It’s Relationship.

There’s a subtle but dangerous trap in nonprofit culture: the idea that we need to perform for donors. We script every word. We polish every email. We try to sound like the “perfect” nonprofit professional.

But donors don’t need us to be perfect. They need us to be real.

Real means you can admit when something is hard. Real means you show up with warmth, not just polish. Real means you treat people like people — not just ATM machines with a recurring donation button.

In fact, when you allow yourself to show up as a whole person — full of conviction, vulnerability, and genuine curiosity — something powerful happens: your donors respond in kind. The relationship deepens. The giving often grows. And even if it doesn’t, the trust does.

How can you tell if you’re performing or connecting?

Here’s one way to spot the difference:

• Performative approach: You’re meeting with a donor and you spend most of the time reciting your case statement. You’re focused on saying the “right” things. The donor nods politely, but the conversation stays surface-level.
• Relational approach: You ask the donor what inspired their first gift. You genuinely listen. You reflect back what you hear. The conversation starts to open up. You find common ground — a shared value, a similar experience. You get curious and ask open-ended, generative questions. The donor leaves feeling like a partner, not a prospect.

TIP: If you’re nervous or feel like you have to “perform,” ask one real question and listen like you mean it. Let the donor lead for a moment. Connection often starts there.

AI Can Do Many Things. But It Can’t Be You.

Let’s be honest: AI is here, and it’s not going away. It can absolutely help with efficiency — summarizing notes, drafting appeal language, analyzing donor behavior. But it can’t care. It can’t connect. It can’t feel moved by the mission.

That’s your job.

AI and automation are tools — not substitutes for presence. They can help you be more efficient, but they can’t replace what you bring to a conversation, a thank-you, or a relationship: intuition, empathy, nuance, shared memory, and genuine care.

You are what makes this work so deeply human.

TRY THESE ACTION STEPS:

• Use AI as a helper, not a stand-in. It can draft or prompt, but you shape the voice, tone, and warmth.

• Protect high-touch moments. Keep major gift outreach, thank-you calls, and legacy conversations entirely human.

• Watch for over-reliance. If you find you’re automating something that really should be personal — pause. Consider: “Would this feel better if it came directly from me?”

• Remember what only you can do. Your ability to see someone’s face when they tell you why they give. Your presence in a moment of grief or celebration. Your instincts when someone needs a call, not another email. These are things no software will ever fully replicate.

So, What Does It Look Like to Be More Human at Work?

Being “authentically human” doesn’t mean oversharing or throwing professionalism out the window. It means making space for who you are — and who your donors are — to shape a shared human experience.

Here are a few simple, relational ways to bring more humanity into your daily work:

1. Start with one real question open-ended question.

Whether it’s a donor meeting, an email, or a call — lead with curiosity, not just an agenda. Ask something like, “What first drew you to this cause?” and really listen.

2. Send one personal message a day.

Just one. A short, sincere note to a donor, volunteer, or board member can ripple far.

3. Tell in-progress stories.

Not everything has to be polished or “complete.” Sharing real, behind-the-scenes glimpses helps people feel connected to the journey, not just the outcome.

4. Be present in small moments.

A sincere thank-you. A hand-written note. A quick check-in call. These may feel small to you — but to the person receiving them, they often mean everything.

5. Make a space for feedback.

Ask your donors what they think. About your communications. About your mission. About how they want to be involved. Then really listen.

REMINDER: Human-centered fundraising isn’t about grand gestures. If you think you need to wait until you have time to plan these, chances are you’ll never get around to it. Instead, commit yourself to small, consistent acts of attention and care. That’s what builds trust over time.

The Bottom Line: Human Connection is a Fundraising Strategy

In a world where everything is speeding up, slowing down enough to connect with someone is revolutionary.

So yes, keep learning the tools. Use the systems. Get smarter about your strategies.

But don’t forget: people give to people. And the most future-proof skill you have isn’t your tech stack. It’s your ability to make someone feel seen, heard, and part of something bigger than themselves.

That’s not something you can automate. That’s something you embody.

And if the futurists are right — if real connection becomes a luxury good — let’s be the ones who never stop offering it, freely and often.

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk: Pexels