Every fundraiser knows the tension: You want to lead with a story that stirs hearts. Your CFO wants broad messaging that raises money for the whole organization. They’re not wrong—unrestricted funding is essential. But broad, abstract appeals rarely move donors to act. Most people give to something they care about deeply. A moment. A face.…
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Assuming people don’t want to be asked to make a philanthropic gift is one of the biggest misconceptions of what constitutes being donor-centered.
Or even kind, thoughtful and respectful.
Alas, when you spend all your time on cultivation, assuming folks don’t need a direct ask and will simply give spontaneously as a result of being passively asked, or even outright wooed, everyone loses.
Why?
FIRST: Donors want to be asked because they’re starved for the love that comes from voluntary giving and receiving.
Donors have love to give, but don’t always have an object towards which to direct their affection.
SECOND: Donors need to be asked because when they’re not, they don’t know how much you need their help.
Consequently, giving feels a bit like a crap shoot. Empty, not meaningful. Donors want you to honestly tell them when and how and how much to give, so investing their money fills them with confidence it will be appreciated and do the most good.
Don’t make donors guess whether you truly find them worthy of loving you.
One of my favorite songs is from the Jefferson Airplane:
When the truth is found to be lies
And all the joy within you dies
Don’t you want somebody to love
Don’t you need somebody to love
Wouldn’t you love somebody to love
You better find somebody to love
What are you, and all these people, doing with the gift of life?
Sure, everyone is busy, busy, busy.
But is all that busy-ness making folks happy?
Are people stopping to really think about what makes their lives meaningful?
Sometimes, yes.
Often, not so much.
You can help would-be donors stop and smell (and enjoy) the roses, so to speak.
In 1984 Robert Cialdini wrote a groundbreaking bo, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, outlining principles of influence that affect human behaviors. Today these principles have been well documented. Trail-blazing research added by behavioral scientists like Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky supports and expands on Cialdini’s principles. No matter how much technology advances, the triggers behind human behavior and…
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Use of Donor Advised Funds (DAFs) as a way for individuals to make charitable contributions continues to rise and grants from DAFs are becoming a growing source of income for charities of all shapes and sizes. An ever-broader group of donors are embracing them to approach philanthropy in the thoughtful, strategic way once reserved only…
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It’s Tax Day – April 15th — in the U.S. No fun. Nobody likes paying taxes. Nobody likes thinking about paying taxes. Bummer. A subject most folks avoid like the plague. And that’s the point. Talking about taxes is mostly bad news. It puts folks in a sour mood. It makes them want to move…
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What’s in a name?
“A rose by any other name would smell as sweet,” said Shakespeare.
But, would it?
Seth Godin thinks words matter. As do I.
Just?
The meaning of the word is the reason we used the word.
If we don’t agree about the meaning of the word, we haven’t communicated.
Instead of, “that’s just semantics,” it seems more productive to say, “I’m confident we have a semantics problem.”
Because that’s all of it.
The way we process words changes the way we act. The story we tell ourselves has an emotional foundation, but those emotions are triggered by the words we use.
Not just.
Especially.
— Seth Godin
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion it has taken place.” So says Hugh MacLeod of Gaping Void Culture Design Group, noting your words may or may not incorporate ‘signifiers’ that open the listener/reader to the possibilities they might encourage.
Opening people up to new possibilities is, after all, at the heart of what organizations seeking to enact change do.
The meaning of words changes over time. Your task is to assure the ones you use will be understood as you intended.
For example, when someone considers contributing to your organization, what does your appeal actually communicate to them? Does asking for a ‘donation’ make them feel uplifted by the possibility they can create a positive outcome. Or does it convey all you care about is their money? Does saying “any little bit helps” make them feel important and empowered? Or does it convey their gift is but a drop in the bucket?
Choose words appropriate to what you want your audience to feel.
You have the power to give would-be supporters the meaning they seek.
Let’s look at how some of the words nonprofits commonly use get their meaning, how this meaning may be interpreted by your constituents, and how you may wish to express yourself differently in order to choose the words most appropriate for your group and for the purpose of your communication.
Maybe that’s okay. Or perhaps
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The work of philanthropy facilitation is very personal. And, fundamentally, it’s based on trust. Which is why establishing and building trust should be part of your nonprofit and personal mission. “Amid times of change, one truth remains: trust is the foundation of progress” — Eman Trust Barometer 2025 Alas, I rarely see this in mission…
DetailsI’m making this the year of helping people reframe their approach to things, both personally and professionally. We can’t always change the external, but we can change the internal. And that can be than enough. It’s a LOT. Shall we talk first about callings, or breathing? How about breathing? Among the definitions of the…
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Confession: I’ve never been a fan of Greedy Tuesday. There, I said it. And you can see how I’ve said it before in: The True Meaning of Giving Tuesday Giving Tuesday: Don’t Take the Money and Run #GivingTuesday or #GratitudeTuesday? Choose! It’s time for a post-mortem, and some thinking about what you might do better…
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This relates to one of Robert Cialdini’s principles of influence and persuasion: “commitment and consistency.”
The main point is this:
Because we are wired to want to be consistent.
That to which we commit, especially publicly, becomes congruent with our self image.
What does this mean for you as a fundraiser?
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