Are You Breathing Your Calling?

I’m making this the year of helping people reframe their approach to things, both personally and professionally.

We can’t always change the external, but we can change the internal.

And that can be more than enough.

It’s a LOT.

Shall we talk first about callings, or breathing?

How about breathing?

Among the definitions of the word are “to pause and rest before continuing,” and “to feel free of restraint.” Think about this as it relates to your life, your work and anything else that takes up your waking hours.

I, for one, must often tell myself “remember to breathe.”

Sometimes it’s when I’m stressed. Constricted. Frightened. Or so caught up in a situation, be it an annoyance, argument, work, or the world, I neglect to center myself through the simple act of taking some deep, calming, reconnecting breaths.

WHY NOT TAKE A MINUTE TO BREATHE NOW? (1) Close your eyes. (2) Sit comfortably with feet planted on the floor, and breathe into your belly to the count of 5. (3) Hold it for 3 counts. (4) Breath out with a deep exhale to the count of 5. (5) Do this deep breathing three times, then open your eyes. What do you notice?

• Did your shoulders unhunch?
• Your jaw release?
• Your belly un-tense?
• Your body untighten? 
• Did you simply feel more at peace?
• More equipped to face what the day will throw at you?

Try it again, centering your mind on relaxing your body as you breathe. Consciouly hold on to that breath, and feel the peace that comes from releasing it fully.

Without breath, of course, we cease to exist. But even in small ways, when we don’t purposefully connect with our essential life force, we may rush through our daily activities skimming the surface.

We fall into automatic modes of fight, flight, freeze or fawn.They may serve us for the short-term, but our sense of autonomy and control suffers.

Unconscious responses can feel shallow, burdensome, stifling and, ultimately, unfulfilling.

It’s no way to live one’s life – and you don’t have to. [Your donors don’t have to either, but we’ll talk about that in a moment.]

Right now, I want to talk about callings, and how you can breathe into yours.

How about callings?

You may think you don’t have one. Or that you haven’t found yours. Or that the whole idea of callings is silly.

Breathe a moment.

Let’s reframe how you may have thought about callings up to this point. I’ve known Tara Mohr since before she found her current Playing Big calling, and several others along the way, and I love her definition.

“A calling is an inner assignment an individual receives to bring love and goodness into the world in a particular way.”

Let’s break this down.

1. 1. Inner assignment. What are you passionate about? What charges you up? How might you feel called to express your yearnings?

   2. While you can join with others in fulfilling your calling, the way it manifests for you individually is unique and special. For example, you may feel called to be a parent, but for you it will manifest differently than for anyone else. You are a prism through which the light of the world can shine.

   3. Bring love and goodness into the world. What is hurting your soul right now? What wounds would you like to see healed? How might you manifest this?

   4. Particular way. What is your deepest sense of how you might serve? There are many ways to repair the world, or your small corner of it. What contribution most speaks to you?

You don’t have to be Mother Teresa to follow a calling.

Nor do you have to be an orgaization. Sometimes it’s easier on an individual level, more like enacting random acts of kindness.

Yesterday, for example, I was approached outside a restaurant by a man in a wheelchair awkwardly trying to cling onto a blanket over his lap while he balanced two plastic bags of belongings. He had money in his teeth, which he offered to me, asking if I’d go inside to buy him some chicken soup. I could tell he was chilled to the bone, and when I brought him the bag of hot soup and noodles (not taking his money) he hugged it to him for the warmth. I chatted with him a bit, learned he sleeps outside, and can’t find an apartment he can afford. I’ve been thinking about him ever since, wondering if he was able to buy a beanie to keep his head warm.

What I experienced yesterday was a quick little calling, one that left me feeling momentarily happy but incomplete. Others might decide to organize a  coat drive. Or a neighborhood watch group. Or even a formalized nonprofit to help dozens or hundreds of homeless, hungry people in pain live more dignified, comfortable lives. Even random acts of kindness deserved to be intentionalized and planned.

The more open and receptive you become to your particular, individual, inner assignments, and come at them from a place of love, the more you’ll follow and experience the joy these callings offer.

Sometimes it’s worth just jumping in, rather than fretting about whether you’re choosing the right one. Because one may follow from the next.

And you don’t just get one. You’ll have many over your lifetime.

Guess what?

There is no one right calling.

Ponder: What draws you to this work?

Think about where or how you may feel a passion, or an inner assignment, to bring love and goodness into the world. Tara Mohr says there are seven ways to recognize a calling. Begin by thinking about these as they pertain to you.

7 Patterns that Arise in Callings

1. Pain around some aspect of status quo. Things that insult your soul.
2. Vision of what could be. Something that tugs your heartstrings.
3. Assignment you didn’t necessarily choose. An inspiration or compulsion to act.
4. Flow that feels good when you do it. Even when hard, it brings you energy and meaning.
5. Resistance that rises up before/around/after. Parts of your self resist. Is it your ego? Your need for control? Fear of the unknown? Other fears?
6. Don’t have what you need. While this can manifest as excuses, it’s partly true. You’ll need other resources, and your calling will take you on a journey to get what you need
7. Aren’t who you need to be inner narratives. These are true too. You may not be there, yet. The calling will lead you to grow into an “unlikely hero” – as you begin to learn new skills, adopt new approaches, and start to show up to life in new and meaningful ways.

Callings have their own life force and energy.

Like every living thing, they have a beginning, a blossoming and thriving, and an end. They are not all about vocation. Callings help people feel more purposeful in life. And you’re not the only one. The real work of our lives is everything we do to grow in a soul sense. 

Your Donors Have Callings Too

1. Do you know what pains them and insults their soul? If you want to receive the most meaningful gift of time, talent and treasure your donor can give, you must engage with them to find out their areas of deepest concern.
2. Do you know what they envision as their legacy? What really moves them and brings a tear to their eye? First you have to draw them out. Then you must showcase what resonates with them in your communications. Of course, there are simply surveys you can launch.
   • Yesterday I received an invitation from an organization I support inviting me to a free workshop to craft a legacy letter for my self and loved ones. Brunch is served, and they’re offering a guided opportunity to reflect on what’s most important to me, connect with others, and begin creating a letter to my family. Very clever.
3. Do you know what moves them to act? If they had to assign themselves some sort of action they felt would contribute to making the world a better place, what might that be? Are there ambassador, advocacy and volunteer opportunities you offer? Share these opportunities with them; then, get on the phone with them to see which options resonate.
4. What aspect of your work aligns with your donor’s flow? Not everything you do will bring your donor energy and meaning, but I’ll bet you can connect your donor to your cause by finding something that rings their bell.
5. How might you overcome donor resistance? For example, how might you better support board members? How might you borrow from principles of psychology, neurology and behavioral economics to trigger donors’ generous impulses? How might you facilitate their journey towards bringing love and goodness into the world?
6. How might you go with your donor’s flow? How might you honor what they’re naturally drawn to, but feel they can’t explore or express? First, listen closely to find out what they want. Be a trusted philanthropic advisor. Can you get creative in crafting a gift plan that accomplishes their charitable, personal, financial and familial objectives? Ask if they have donor advised funds, a family foundation, appreciated assets, a required IRA minimum distritubution  All of this is essentially “free” money to the donor, and you can facilitate their making a larger impact than they might have imagined.
7. How might you show donors they can truly make an impact? Sometimes donors hesitate because they think they aren’t good enough, wise enough, rich enough. You can show them their contribution has value. Tell specific stories that demonstrate your mission in actions. Donors will relate and want to give the story, or the story’s protagonist, a happy ending

Practice tapping into donor callings. Donors can use your help to address that which insults their soul. Frame behavior as identity that aligns with donors’ self-concepts. Share narratives that reflect the communal values of your audiences. Make people want to belong to your group.

What’s calling you and your donors now?

There’s a lot going on in the world. You can go into overwhelm mode, decide it’s just too much, and pull the covers over your head. Many are making this choice. They’re tired. The work seems so hard. It can be depressing, demoralizing, enervating and just plain chilling. Understandable.

But take a moment to consider what’s most troubling you right now, and how you might feel called to address that. Maybe some of your supporters feel similarly, and you can help each other address today’s scary, pressing problems.

Think of a Value to Lead You

It can be useful to reframe your approach in order to find the focus and fuel to keep moving forward and taking action. Sometimes we lose touch with the core principles that nourish us. Perhaps it’s connection, love, integrity, justice, equality, kindness or? Think about a value that might lead you, and perhaps some of your donors, forward

Proactively find where your values align.

ACTION TIP: Create a survey to learn more about how your donors self-identify. It’s fine to use a free tool like Hubspot, Survey Monkey, Google Forms or others. Consider offering a prize so you increase participation and gather more valuable insight. [e.g., (1) enter contributors into a raffle to win logo swag, a gift donated by a sponsor, etc.; or (2) offer a free beverage coupon at your on-site café or a local vendor; or (3) announce the first 10 respondents will be invited to lunch with the E.D., or (4) propose that everyone who responds will be invited to a special online event, free performance, or/behind-the-scenes tour. Keep the survey brief (ideally tell people it will take one minute to complete, or it is just three questions), so you don’t depress response. Grab some survey question examples here.

ACTION TIP: Ask donors to indicate why they give on your remit piece or thank you landing page. Make this optional, but you’d be amazed at the valuable feedback you can receive if you’re willing to ask. For a remit piece that typically has very little space, consider asking them to write one word that describes why they give. For a human services organization I led, we typically got back value-laden words like “love,” “compassion,” “caring,” “tradition,” and “giving back.” A social justice client of mine ended up rocking words like “equality,” “justice,” “humanity,” and “dignity.” For a thank you landing page, consider offering multiple choices (ideally based on feedback you’ve previously received; if you have no current feedback, ask your board to provide some) and ask folks to pick the one, two or three that most speak to them or to rank order them. You can also leave one open-ended question for folks to tell you anything else they’d like you to know about why they give.

Shake off the shaky.

When times feel ungrounded, it’s time to ground yourself.

Bob Dylan got it right when he wrote “the times they are a ‘Changin,’” yet he could not have envisioned the rapidly accelerating pace of change today. Climate catastrophes, artificial intelligence upheavals, authoritarian regimes run amok globally… it can make one feel helpless.

Breathe into your calling. Grab some donors, align with them, and move forward with the vital work of repairing the world. Honor your own passions and facilitate donor journeys as other people find and follow their callings too. Your organization wants change; donors want to be change agents. Make the match!

I know you’ve got this, and I’m counting on you.

[Enroll in Clairification School to assure you get all the wisdom you need to bring as much goodness and love into the world as possible. If the $100/year tuition is a hardship, let me know. I want this for you. I want this for the world.]

Photo by Austin Chan on Unsplash