The Psychology of Yes: What Every Fundraiser Needs to Master
Every fundraiser knows the tension: You want to lead with a story that stirs hearts. Your CFO wants broad messaging that raises money for the whole organization.
They’re not wrong—unrestricted funding is essential. But broad, abstract appeals rarely move donors to act. Most people give to something they care about deeply. A moment. A face. A cause they can feel.
So how do you tell a specific story and still raise funds that can be used where they’re most needed?
This article offers smart, field-tested strategies to do just that—so you can spark emotion, build trust, and fund your full mission with integrity.
Start With the Piece Everyone Reaches for First
Picture your organization’s work as a beautifully curated box of chocolates. Every piece represents a program—distinct in flavor, texture, and appeal. Each one matters. But let’s be honest: some get picked first.
A box of chocolates approach to fundraising.
One piece might be a chocolate-covered peanut butter butterfly—sweet, familiar, and symbolic.
- For a children’s program, it could represent roots and wings.
- For an environmental group, biodiversity and delicate balance.
- For an immigrant rights organization, freedom and the courage to rise and begin anew.
You don’t have to showcase everything at once.
You just need the piece that gets someone to open the box—the one that makes them pause, feel, and want more. That’s your appeal story.
Once someone takes that first bite and feels the joy of giving, they’re more likely to stay—to sample the hazelnut cluster of advocacy, the dark square of policy work, the unexpected citrus zest of research and outreach.
Spotlight what’s most emotionally resonant.
This metaphor isn’t just clever—it’s useful. It’s a lens you can return to every time you write:
- What are the chocolates in our mission box?
- Which ‘piece” do our donors reach for first?
- What does it represent to them—and to us?
- How can it open the door to deeper giving?
Start there. You’re not hiding the rest of the box. You’re simply offering the piece that will invite someone in.
Why “Where Most Needed” Falls Flat
“Your gift will be used where most needed.”
It sounds responsible. Broad. Even strategic. But to a donor, it often feels impersonal and vague. There’s no emotional hook. No human connection. No clear reason to care now.
General doesn’t grip the heart.
Donors give through emotion, then justify with logic. When an appeal opens with abstract descriptions of “the depth and breadth” of your work, you risk losing their hearts before you ever reach their heads.
Specificity is required to capture donor attention and draw folks in. You may offer seven vital programs. You may serve across multiple regions, ages, or needs. But no one falls in love with a program list. They fall in love with a story—a moment they can picture, a person they can care about, a change they can help bring to life.
Fungibility Is Your Friend
You’re still thinking inside the box.
And that’s what unrestricted fundraising is intended for — your entire box of chocolates, taken together, represent your core operating budget. Everything in the chocolate box includes programs that are part of your clearly articulated mission, not separately packaged candy bars that live outside the box. And all of them rely on the same set of ingredients: staffing, space, supplies, systems.
This is not bait and switch.
You don’t mislead anyone. Quite the opposite. The key is transparency. Be upfront that their gift will support both the story they fell in love with and the mission that story represents.
When you lead with one piece, and a donor chooses it, you’re still raising money for the whole box. That’s what fungibility means: you can allocate support across the full assortment, because all of it is part of the core experience. The donor is still giving to the mission—they’re just entering through a door that feels personal.
Here’s how to do that clearly and ethically—without killing your appeal.
Three Smart Steps to Ethically Broaden a Gift’s Use
Steven Screen of the Better Fundraising Co. offers a brilliant three-part formula to maintain emotional connection while still raising unrestricted funds. Here’s how to apply it:
1. In the body of the appeal:
Tell the donor their gift will fund the specific thing you’re promoting and the rest of your mission’s programs. This will cover other programs as well as all administrative expenses. For example:
“Your gift will help hungry children like Jimmy, as well as other children, families and elderly neighbors who don’t have enough to eat.”
This anchors the gift in the story while immediately expanding its impact.
2. On the printed reply device or donor landing page:
Include a headline related to the specific program the appeal features plus an action check-off box. For example:
“YES, I want to support the Rising Stars Theater Program and all the art enrichment programs that bring inspiring stories and community connection to life.”
This honors the donor’s motivation while signaling broader support.
3. In the fine print:
Include a statement indicating how their gift will be used to support this (what you focused on in your appeal) and all the other programs and services you offer. For example:
“If this program becomes fully funded, your gift will be pooled with other generous donors to do the greatest good possible for at-risk children throughout our community.”
This adds clarity, avoids bait-and-switch concerns, and gives you flexibility.
Bring the Story to Life
Let’s look at how this plays out in practice.
Compare these two appeal openings:
TELL:
“One in four children in our community suffer from food insecurity. That’s why we offer food pantries, morning snack programs, and lunch support in every zip code.”
SHOW:
“Three days in a row, 7-year-old Jimmy was so gripped by hunger he couldn’t sleep. His stomach cramped through the night. Each morning, he fell asleep at his desk.”
Which one moves you? Which one would you keep reading?
Stories like Jimmy’s draw people in. They inspire empathy. And most importantly—they invite action.
When donors can picture the person they’re helping, they feel connected. And when they feel connected, they give more—often more freely, without fixating on restrictions.
Help Your CFO See the Strategy
Emotional stories aren’t a risk. They’re a bridge.
If your CFO or executive team worries about highlighting one program too strongly, let them in on this truth: this isn’t about picking favorites—it’s about opening the box so old and new favorites are created.
Reframe the appeal approach as a way to unlock unrestricted giving, not undermine it.
Remind them: donors don’t fall in love with general operating support. They fall in love with a well-crafted tale. A moment. A face. A feeling. When you lead with a story, you’re not narrowing the donor’s focus—you’re giving them something to hold onto and even expand their horizons.
The best part? When you raise funds through a story that lives inside your mission (not outside of it), you’re still supporting your operating budget. That butterfly-shaped chocolate? It’s made with the same ingredients as every other piece. It uses the same kitchen. The same staff. The same values.
Show how this approach doesn’t limit flexibility—it earns it.
A powerful, specific story activates generosity. Then your transparency gives you room to move the money where it’s most needed.
Here are a few strategic points you can share internally:
- The story is the doorway. Lead with what donors care about. Then walk them into the bigger picture.
- Fungibility is normal. Most organizations apply flexible funds within the mission. Just be honest about how.
- Donors trust truth. When people feel seen and inspired, they give more—and with fewer strings attached.
What you’re doing isn’t manipulative. It’s intuitive. Ethical. And effective.
In the end, unrestricted support isn’t what you ask for—it’s what you earn through emotional resonance and transparent communication.
The Sweet Spot: Specific Appeals, Unrestricted Gifts
You don’t have to choose between telling a specific story and raising flexible dollars. Done well, one fuels the other.
One powerful story can carry the whole mission.
So yes—lead with the chocolate-covered peanut butter butterfly. Lead with one story that opens hearts and gets remembered. Then describe how this gift supports the program that caught their eye and the full mission that makes it possible.
That’s not a gimmick. It’s smart, strategic, and deeply respectful—of your work and your donor’s values.
- Spark interest with what’s emotionally resonant.
- Sustain trust by being transparent about where the gift will go.
- Fund the full mission by showing how every program shares the same core ingredients.
Because your mission isn’t just one program. It’s the whole box. And everyone deserves the chance to taste what’s inside.
One Last Word for You, the Fundraiser
If you’ve ever been told your story-driven appeal was “too narrow” or “too emotional,” know this: you’re not doing it wrong. You’re doing it right.
Leading with heart doesn’t mean abandoning strategy or fiscal responsibility.
It means anchoring your ask in what makes people care—and then building the bridge back to your mission. You’re not just raising money. You’re inviting people into something meaningful.
So, go ahead.
- Choose the story that moves you.
- Offer that first piece of chocolate.
- And trust that when you lead with care, your donors will follow.
You’ve got this.
Get The 7 Clairification Keys To Unlock Your Nonprofit’s Fundraising Potential
Through a series of clairifying worksheets and individual and group exercises, this 42-page guide will give you fresh insights.
You’ll learn how to:
- Clairify your Values and lead from passion, not need.
- Clairify your Stories and share them; make your donors heroes.
- Clairify your Brand and listen for offers; seize opportunities.
- Clairify your Social Channels and meet folks where they are.
- Clairify your Support Constituencies and be accountable.
- Clarify your Engagement Objectives and measure.
- Clairify your Resources/Systems for creating positive customer experiences.
Spend some time to bring your work to life with these 7 Clairification Keys. If you’re not happy for any reason, you have my no-questions-asked, 30-day, 100% refund guarantee!
Image: Charles Chocolates, San Francisco.
