Beyond Money: Why Belonging Is the Key to Sustainable Philanthropy

“Philanthropy, at its core, is not a financial system — it’s a behavioral one. Donor trust, like patient trust, is built on consistent signals of safety, empathy, and responsiveness. When those signals break — when follow-ups don’t happen, gratitude feels mechanical, or communication becomes sporadic — relationships weaken.”

— Sanjay Bindra

Bindra makes a neurochemistry case for sustainable philanthropy. It centers around meaning and belonging – for the donor.

It’s definitively relational.

Not so much outcome based (data and dollars). But emotion based.

The Emotional Roots of Sustainable Philanthropy

You see, philanthropy is mostly not about the money.

Or even the immediate problem resolution. It’s about the embracing love (philos + anthropy). And the love must be 360 degrees – encircling the donor as fully as the beneficiaries and the cause.

People are on a quest for happiness, purpose and belonging.

By now, most fundraisers have heard about the MRI studies showing giving offers humans a dopamine “warm glow” boost of “feel good.” You may have even initiated strategies designed to give donors this “givers high.” That’s the happiness part. Good for you!

But don’t stop there. Acquiring donors is a one-time thing. And happiness is fleeting. It won’t be worth much to you unless you’re able to sustain this feeling, and the donor’s giving, over time. And that’s where the other neurochemical, oxytocin, comes into play. Bindra puts it this way:

• Dopamine fuels “I gave.”

• Oxytocin sustains “I belong.”

Belonging to a Greater Good

“I belong” means donors identify as part of your cause.

This makes them more trusting – and more generous. Could there be anything better for fundraisers?

No, there could not. In fact,  Jen Shang and Adrian Sargeant’s donor behavior research, reported in Meaningful Philanthropy, shows deeper gifts are rooted in identity, ownership, and belonging. When giving is tied to a donor’s identity — who they believe themselves to be — it becomes far more powerful and long-lasting.

But to get to this powerful place — to trigger oxytocin — requires more human (not automated) attention.

You can’t just robotically send stuff out, satisfying yourself with a single good outcome (i.e., one-time gift). Long-term identity-expressive giving requires a two-way street with your constituents. In fact, studies show group activity and a high sense of relatedness influences the production of oxytocin in our brain — helping us become more relaxed, extroverted, generous, and cooperative in groups.  You want your supporters to feel this way, because this leads to positive emotions and a feeling of trust, both of which are essential to collaboration.

We’re All in This Together

Arriving at this sense of “being in it together” requires consciously and actively incorporating the following types of gratitude-based activity into your ongoing donor cultivation and stewardship:

• Asking for feedback (e.g., via survey, remit card, focus group).

• Making phone calls.

• Scheduling facetime or zoom visits.

• Inviting folks for in-person meetings and events.

• Offering free virtual community events.

• Offering volunteer opportunities to help others.

Don’t just tell yourself “yeah, we should probably do more of this – when we get the time.”  That kind of thinking leads to never finding the time.  Something “urgent” will always come up to pull you away from what’s important. Critically so.

The Elephant in the Room

Donor retention rates are, overall, abysmal.  And have been for over a decade. You know this.

Guess what?

Retention won’t improve without you doing something about it.

Behaviors will stick, unless they’re disrupted. Your behaviors and your donors’ behaviors.

And it’s on YOU to be the disruptor-in-chief.

What can you do to trigger donors’ sense of purpose – which grows from a sense of identity, ownership and connection to others?

Help Donors Feel Connected

It’s really not that difficult. Just show and tell!

This means descriptive prose, stories, images, and videos.

Here are some relatively easy and inexpensive ways to give folks the emotional return on investment they seek.

• Send thank-you letters from beneficiaries.

• Share behind-the-scenes videos.

• Send outcome reports.

• Add a “story of the month” to your e-newsletter or blog.

• Send a quick 15-second thank you video you record on your smartphone.

• Create special volunteer activities just for donors.

• Take donors on field trips when things open up again.

• Invite clients/beneficiaries to talk at meetings and events.

Tap in to the Power of Meaning

The key insight from Shang and Seargent’s research is that donors are motivated not just by what their gift accomplishes, but by what their giving says about who they are. Consider these two messages:

• “Your $10,000 gift helped build 5 wells, serving 2,500 people.”

• “Your gift shows you are the kind of person who brings life and dignity to communities others have forgotten.”

Speak to who the donor is. 

When donors feel an emotional and identity-level resonance, they give more, and they stay longer.

Your job is to help donors feel their importance. 

Transformational fundraisers say: “Your gift is a reflection of who you are. Together, we’re shaping the world  — and your legacy.”

Love 360

Fundraising always does well for organizations who demonstrate their relevance and invite their constituents into the circle — to keep the shared vision and mission alive.

I attended Edwin Markham junior high school and am reminded of a poem he wrote, which always spoke to me:

“He drew a circle that shut me out—
Heretic, a rebel, a thing to flout.
But Love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle that took him in!”

— Edwin Markham, 1852-1940

Draw this loving circle. Repeatedly.

Get inside your donors’ heads (that’s what feedback opportunities are for) so you can speak to them authentically – with great humanity.

Reach out proactively. Connect with empathy. Share what you and your constituents have in common.

This will lead donors to identify with you, trust you, and want to continue their relationship with you — so they remain in the circle.

Want to build donor loyalty over time?

Grab the Attitude of Gratitude Donor Guide + Creative Ways to Thank Your Donors. It includes everything I’ve learned over the years, all tucked it into one handy no-nonsense Guide on the practice of gratitude. 106 full pages, with lots of ready-to-use samples and templates.

And it includes Creative Ways to Thank Your Donors— with 72 ideas for you to steal!

Photos of three San Francisco Hearts — a Benefit for the San Francisco General Hospital Foundation