Ready to Ask for a Major Gift? Don’t Make These 5 Mistakes

You’ve done your homework. You’ve built the relationship, learned what matters to the donor, identified common ground, and prepared for your meeting. Now comes the moment you’ve been working toward: asking for a major gift.

Even experienced fundraisers can get nervous at this point. They may hesitate to name a specific amount, rush to fill an uncomfortable silence, or leave the meeting without a clear plan for what happens next.

The good news? These mistakes are avoidable. Here are five common missteps that can undermine an otherwise promising solicitation — and what to do instead.

5 Mistakes to Avoid When Asking for a Major Gift

Here are five common missteps that can undermine an otherwise promising solicitation — and what to do instead.

1. Mistake: Not Asking for a Specific Amount for a Specific Purpose.

In my experience, at least a majority of major donors prefer having a place to hang their hat.

Some will give “where most needed,” especially to single-issue charities, but many others want to visualize how their money will be used to help.Keep in mind that a specific purpose doesn’t necessarily mean a restricted gift. You can offer donors a tangible, compelling way to participate while retaining flexibility in how your organization uses the gift. In this way, they can draw themselves into one of your charity’s most compelling stories and become the person who gives that story a happy ending. You can then report back to them throughout the year, keeping the story alive and reminding the donor of the joy they felt upon making the gift.

Asking for something specific makes it real. It brings the donor to the precipice of saying, “Yes, I’ll help make this happen,” or “No, I won’t help make this happen.” Putting the decision in stark black-and-white terms can help donors reach a decision point more easily than a giving proposition that’s simply, “Add more money to the pot to help us with the mission.”

Note that any amount you ask for should be tailored to the donor’s giving history, capacity, and existing connections with your organization.

2. Mistake: Not Staying Silent after Asking for a Specific Gift

Donors need time to reflect; I recommend my own 17-second rule.

Somewhere in my career, I learned that, at least in American culture, most people become uncomfortable after 17 seconds of silence. We’ll try to jump in to break that silence — at almost any cost. Don’t!

There’s an unspoken rule in sales: “The one who speaks first loses.” Make your ask, then count quietly under your breath to 17. Nine times out of ten, your donor will speak before you do. That’s much better than jumping in prematurely with, “Oh, if that’s too much, would you give less?”

3. Mistake: Not Maintaining Eye Contact

Your most important visual aid is your face.

Donors want to connect with you, not spend the meeting watching a screen or listening to you read from a brochure or case statement. Maintain eye contact. Pay attention to their facial expressions and body language. Are they engaged? Confused? Excited? Uncomfortable? These cues can tell you a lot about how the conversation is going — and when you might need to pause, explain something, or ask a question.

Of course, it’s fine to bring a video, brochure, or case statement to illustrate a point. Just use these props briefly, then return your attention to the donor. They can read the materials or watch the video on their own time.

Connect with the donor throughout your time together. Leave the materials as a take-away when you go. This gives you a natural reason to follow up and ask what they thought. And if you’re meeting by phone, consider asking permission to switch to Zoom or FaceTime so you can see one another.

4. Mistake: Letting the Ball Land in the Donor’s Court

Have a plan for next steps, and make it easy for the donor to join you.

You might say: “Thanks for all this great feedback. I’m going to go back to our program staff, get their thoughts, and put some numbers to these ideas. When would be a good time for me to get back to you next week? Would Tuesday or Thursday around this same time work?”

Whatever you do, don’t simply walk out the door without agreeing on what happens next. Ideally, you’ve secured a gift, a pledge to consider a gift, or a commitment to a subsequent meeting. Everyone in the room should have absolute clarity about who’s doing what and when. You never want to find yourself waiting by the phone, hoping the donor will call. Take responsibility for recapping the next steps and making yourself the primary next actor.

5. Mistake: Not Following Up, Both ASAP and Beyond

Whether the donor said yes, no, or maybe, thank them for their time. Don’t give them time to wonder whether you enjoyed the visit! If you met on Zoom, immediately send an email. Follow it with a handwritten note. If you met in their home, step outside and take a moment to write a quick handwritten thank-you to drop in their mailbox. If you met at your office or a café, return to your desk or car and dash off a quick email or text. These are just starters.

Next, send a follow-up communication summarizing your discussion and outlining next steps. For donors who don’t read email, you can send a letter or even a text. Ask about their communication preferences. This follow-up shows the donor you were paying attention, that you value their input, and that you want to keep the conversation going.

Continue to follow up on anything you promised. Talk to others on your team, get the donor’s questions answered, and make sure everyone in your organization is on board for whatever the next steps in the solicitation will require. Get back to the donor to fill them in and facilitate the next meeting. If the donor asked for time to consult with significant others, agree on a timeframe and promise to get back to them on a specific date to check in.

Don’t Let Fear of Making a Mistake Keep You from Asking

The lion’s share of philanthropy comes from major gifts. Yet too many organizations leave significant philanthropic potential untapped because they don’t ask — or don’t ask effectively.

As I discussed in Part 1, a successful major gift solicitation begins long before you actually ask for the gift.It starts with building the relationship, understanding what matters to the donor, and creating the conditions for a meaningful conversation. Once you’re ready to make the ask, there are still some important pitfalls to avoid.

If you’re doing important work and people are relying on you, you have both the responsibility and the privilege of generating the resources needed to move your mission forward. Even a few new major gifts, or upgrades from current major donors, can make a BIG difference.

Humans make mistakes. That’s okay, as long as we learn from them. Don’t let fear of making a mistake keep you from having these conversations. You don’t need to deliver a perfect pitch. You need to build a genuine relationship, understand what matters to the donor, make a thoughtful invitation to participate, and give them the opportunity to say yes.

And remember: whether the donor says yes, no, or not yet, the relationship continues. That’s what makes major gift philanthropy so rewarding — for the donor as well as for the organization.

Still, if you’re at all like me, you’d rather learn from someone who’s already made the mistakes — and figured out how to avoid them!

Welcome to the Certification Course for Major Gift Fundraisers

I’m again partnering up with The Veritus Group to offer you this amazing online course — 8 modules over 13 weeks, and after that you’ll never look back.

This is the best way to avoid all the frustrating trial and error that comes from not having the best teachers in the business from the ‘get go.’  You’ll get more than you can imagine in a combination of readings, podcasts, webinars, live phone-in calls,  peer group conversations, individual check-ins and even a free data assessment if you wish. Plus, at completion, you’ll receive a major gifts certification + 29 CFRE credits.

Email me right away at claire@clairification.com with any questions. I’ll respond personally with honest answers. I hope you’ll join us! This course is worth it, and you’re worth it!  Thanks for all you do to create a better and more caring world.

Claire

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