5 Major Gift Meeting Mistakes to Avoid Before You Make the Ask

A successful major gift solicitation rarely begins when you ask for a gift. It begins well before that — with whom you invite to meet, how you prepare, what you learn about the donor, and the kind of relationship you establish.

Get these things wrong, and even the most compelling case for support can fall flat. Get them right, and you create the conditions for a conversation that feels less like a fundraising pitch and more like an opportunity to explore what you might accomplish together.

Before we get to the five mistakes, I’d like you to try a quick visualization exercise. Think of a donor you’ve been hoping to meet with about a major gift.

Imagine Yourself in the Room with a Donor

Picture the two of you together. What would make this meeting feel comfortable, engaging, and worthwhile for both of you?

So let’s get curious. I’m going to ask you to close your eyes for a minute and imagine a donor you’ve been hoping to meet with about a major gift. Picture the two of you together. Where are you meeting? In your office? At the donor’s home? Over coffee? Or perhaps on a Zoom screen? Choose a setting that feels comfortable and where you could realistically see this meeting taking place in the next month or so.

Okay, do you have your donor and meeting place in mind? Excellent!

Now, before opening your eyes, imagine these four things:

  1. You’re in the room together.
  2. You smile. They smile back.
  3. Someone else is there with you. Imagine you’ve invited this person to join you. Who are they, and how does it feel to have them there to support you?
  4. Bolstered by the smiles and good company, what do you say to open the conversation?

SELF-EXERCISE: Ready? Close your eyes and picture your donor, your meeting space, the additional person supporting you, and how you’ll open the conversation. What are you saying? What might the donor say in response? Don’t think in terms of pitching what they can do for you, but of promising what you can do together. Play out the scenario just a bit, until you reach a place of comfort — or discomfort. Then open your eyes.

What did that feel like?

What felt comfortable? Uncomfortable? Did it feel more pleasant than you imagined? Smiling people, committed to the same cause, spending time together in a comfortable space… from such a space can come many good things.

  • What did you say to open the conversation?
  • How did that feel?
  • If it felt good, why?
  • If it didn’t, why?
  • What might feel better?
  • Do you think it might feel better to the donor, too?

REFLECT AND JOURNAL: Take a few minutes to jot down your answers. Whatever comes to mind first is fine; don’t overthink it. This simple exercise can help you shift the energy you bring to your next donor meeting — in real time.

A Mistake is Just a Misjudgment

It’s not fatal; you can correct it. But first you have to recognize it happened!

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Halloween skeleton

8 BOO BOO’s! Are You SCARING Nonprofit Donors Away?

Halloween skeleton

Is this how you’re making your donor feel?!?!

 

BOO!

Halloween is creeping up on us, so I’ve got some really scary stuff for you!

Don’t get too spooked. There are also a few treats.

In fact, you’ll get eight delicious goodies — in the form of “to-do’s.”

But first… the bad news.

No bones about it, you’re frightening folks away if you’re committing any of these 8 boo-boo’s!

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10 Secrets to Major Gift Fundraising Success: The Second 5

Elephant piñata

Ready to get your share of the major gift goodies?

Every organization should have a major gifts program. That’s where much of the philanthropic money is.

It’s a rare organization that has a mailing list large enough to raise a million dollars from a million different $1 donors. But most organizations do have major donor prospects hiding in plain sight.

Your job is to find them, then move them along a cultivation path that prepares both them — and you — to make an ask that results in a values-based exchange.

In Part 1, we covered the first five secrets to major gift fundraising success: choosing your major gift amount, finding the right prospects, creating the right case for support, building a gift chart, and knowing when to ask.

Today, we’ll cover the final five — the secrets to working the plan you’ve developed.

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Act Fast, Raise Big: The Skills You Need to Win Major Donors Today

Large piece of lemon meringue pieShifting politics are creating economic uncertainty for all, and it’s especially scary for U.S. nonprofits who, on average, receive about a third of their total funding from Federal grants. This means nonprofits today need to shift emphasis (and budget) toward individual donor engagement strategies. Giving USA reports 74% of all giving (lifetime + bequests) came from individuals last year.

Major individual donors are, by far, the largest slice of today’s philanthropy pie.

If I had to tell you what you need to do to succeed with major gift fundraising in one sentence it would be this:

Identify major donor prospects… qualify them so you know they want to build a deeper relationship with you… cultivate them… visit with them… listen to them… reflect back to them what you heard… ask them for something specific that resonates with their passions… steward their gift and communicate in an ongoing way to make them feel like the hero they are!

Whew – that was a mouthful!

But don’t worry. It’s definitely not rocket science. A shorter way to say this is:

Meet with donors. Listen to donors. Ask donors. Thank donors.

See — it’s simple!

It’s just good old hard work. Satisfying and rewarding work. And it’s a type of work anyone can learn to do.

Over my 40 years in fundraising, 30 of them working in the trenches as a director of development for organizations with budgets ranging from $1 – $40 million, I have asked for a lot of major gifts.  I know what works, and what doesn’t work. Today I want to give you:

(1) some of my best pro tips and words of wisdom, and also

(2) answers to some of the questions folks frequently ask me .

I hope this information will help you tweak your mindset and invigorate your systems so you can be more successful fundraising in the coming year!

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Major Gifts Fundraising: Pie in the Sky, Pie in your Face or Your Piece of Pie

Painting of pieces of pie by Wayne Thiebaud

Which major donor prospects are your best ‘piece of pie?’

Do you think Bill Gates, Warren Buffet or MacKenzie Scott are likely prospects for major giving to your nonprofit?

Sadly, all too often I hear board members suggesting names like these (perhaps it may simply be the richest known philanthropist in the community) – despite the fact that the prospect has (1) no known interest in the cause, and (2) nobody at the organization knows or has any link to this person.

Really, this practice must stop!

There’s a much better way.

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Donor conversation

Top Strategies for Open Nonprofit Donor Conversations

Donor conversation

Every donor conversation should be co-creative.

 

A few years ago I enrolled in an intensive coaching course. It wasn’t designed just for aspiring professional coaches, but for anyone who wanted to bring a more thoughtful, empowering approach to everyday conversations.

What struck me most was how directly these lessons apply to fundraising — especially donor conversations.

At the heart of this approach are two qualities every fundraiser needs.

1. CURIOSITY

When you’re genuinely curious about another person you ask questions to draw them out.

And questions to help them get to the place they want to go; not where you think they should go.

Because what’s right for you is not always right for someone else. They’ll tell you what’s right – with you acting as their guide – but only if you’re interested enough to ask.

It happens some questions are better than others if you want to get to the core of the matter at hand. We’ll get to those in a moment.

2. LISTENING

There’s a better way to have dynamic, effective conversations than jumping in prematurely with your own opinion.

I’ve always known this, but it turns out there’s more to it than adopting the old adage: “You have two ears and one mouth; use them in that proportion.”

Because it’s how you approach the listening that matters.

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Three San Francisco Hearts Even From Far-Away I Love U. Ridhaan Desai. Earth Mother Heart.

Top Strategies to Leverage Your Small to Mid-Sized Nonprofit’s Secret Advantages

As explored in my recent article, small to mid-sized organizations are uniquely capable of creating a sense of community, even family. This is what people yearn for. And it gives you a secret advantage when it comes to nurturing the relationships essential to developing and sustaining a strong mid-level and major gifts program. You’re never…

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